Monday, July 20, 2009

Just when I thought I was out.....

...they pull me back in!

I guess I should have known that you don't just take the GMAT once. My previous score was not fantastic, but at least I clocked in right at the top of the bell curve. Not bad, right? Wrong. Not good enough.

So here I am, cramming 8 years worth of middle and high school math into my head in two weeks. Thankfully, I have a fantastic tutor who plays online poker for a living (for reals) and is super nice and not intimidating. There are a lot of creepy, predatory GMAT tutors on craig's list. See for example, this exchange below:

Creepy tutor: Thank you for your inquiry about GMAT preparation. I am a very patient and understanding tutor, and I would be glad to help you prepare for the exam. My students become much more at ease going into the GMAT because they are so well-prepared...blah blah, a bunch of stuff....Please email me your phone number, or you may call me at 516-XXX-XXXX, and I will address all of your concerns.

Me: Hi CT, Can you please tell me what your hourly rate is? Thanks! - Me

CT: We will need to speak first, so that you understand the quality of the service you will receive.

Me: Hi CT, I understand. I'm not trying to be difficult, but I have a demanding job w/out much privacy and can't duck out to make phone calls.Can you please send me your rates? Thanks, Me

CT: A smart lady who is on the cusp of getting into grad school is not going to book a tutor There are other much-less qualified tutors who answer the ads and try to undercut rates by $5, so I don't give rates out until we've spoken. If you are serious, you will be glad when you select me. I guarantee you that I am very well-qualified to help you, and I will work miracles to accommodate your schedule (and I'm a good guy, too). If you are only shopping rate, I can tell you that I'm not the cheapest (but I am the best). If you reply to this email now, and let me know that you will call me at 9:30 this evening, I will make sure that I am available. Best regards, CT

Me forwarding last email to Husband: F-ing annoying. Should I even call this joker?

Husband to me: He sounds strange.

CT, hours later: OK , -- You win -- $95 per hour (and worth every penny), but I can slightly discount if you take a package. I am somewhat skeptical of people with the last name Smith, but I now know that you've used your real name, and you're a Brandeis alum from the class of 03. (OMG, he's a total stalker!!!) If I am smart enough to figure that out, I am smart enough to help get you into your MBA program. What more would you like to know? Best, CT
without speaking to them, to sense a goodness of fit for such an important endeavor. If you pick the wrong one, you are sunk.

And there it is. The moral of the story: don't ever trust any guy who won't tell you his fee up front.


  1. 2nd moral of the story: Always use a fake name on craigslist to avoid cyberstalking!

  2. Well...with a name like Smith, I don't worry too much. But his whole if I'm smart enough thing just means that he knows how to search on facebook.